Poem

 Dear Readers,

Hello Darlings, hope your week is going great. I'm going to try and post every day but will always post on weekends. 

Today is July 25th 2025. Can you believe over half a year has already gone by?

This first day is a poem called Where I am From. 

Trigger warnings- Mention of abuse and being hurt nothing graphic as well as redacted swearing 

Where I am from Poem 

I am from the house with black mold 

 from the leaking ceiling in the corner and to many boxes in the garage

 I am the child with a wild spirit that can't be contained 

 with creativity that extends past paper 

 that bleeds up the walls in watercolor and crayons and tape 

 from forts in the living room with twilight on the old tv 

 to the cobalt spaghetti jars that are used as sugar containers that I would steal secret  spoons fulls from 

I am from bruised knees and bitten lips 

 with scraped palms from to many falls

 to chewed nails from anxiety watching 

 for something unseen in the shadows 

 and the corner of my eyes 

From split lips and cuts on my cheek bone

 from the shiny stones named diamond for their sharpness 

 that you call a family heirloom 

 that I call a curse 

From three dragon flies that were once family 

 one a father figure to replace the one I never had 

 who smelt of cigarettes but always so sweet 

 till I knew why the truth of you condition 

 and your last words (Tell Ava I Love Her) will never leave me 

 neither you or your star watching over me 

From a brother figure to be kind but not replace 

 who smelt of smoke and oil 

 whose life was taken but all too soon 

To a dog a pit-bull the most hated species 

 but always so sweet who smelt of home and comfort 

 who didn't care if I pulled you tail 

 who would run after every stick 

 even though you were old and couldn't walk 

 yes you're hourglass ran out of sand to spend

But still it was all too soon 

I am from ginger bread and buttermilk pie 

 from the taste of wine which I spat out to kombucha which was sweet 

 to the drowning smell of tequila and cheap whisky

 and once the smell of black bile a smell that will never leave me 

To oysters raw or grilled to pasta and salad 

which I would eat as I got older

as I raised that there was more to worry 

about that vegetables and hairbrushes pulling my hair  

That soon I would learn that girls can be mean and boys can be jerks 

that girls can call you names too, like Dog and S**t and B***h 

and that soon the boys would say F**k off when you asked to play hide and go seek or tag that soon people can be mean but that you must learn people 

can also be good and that they can be kind 

That not everyone deserves trust even when you give it unconditionally

That heartbreak hurts 

I am from diamond rings that made me smile

 and wooden spoons that made me sit straight 

 and belts that held my waist in place 

 from wall and nails that made my hands strong 

 from walls and text books from concert 

 and a wooden bench that made me hard headed and stubborn 

From moons and planets out of retrograde 

 and forest and oceans from zodiacs and crystals 

 from jewelry that's cheap to pricey 

 from a childhood stuff animal that was always in my hand until one day it wasn't 

 from witchy stuff to shiny glass ware 

 and potato bugs that would be in the garden 

 on the rare days in summer time when we had sun 

 that we would plant snapdragons and roses and peppers and garlic

 from raspberry to strawberries from carrots to tomatoes 

 from cilantro to parsley and chives 

 we would always have a garden full of stuff 

From the days we would watch crime shows and cook 

 now I am someone new whose love for books reached past the library and paper 

 till my creativity was ready to burst 

 from percy jackson and harry potter to shiver and perfectly imperfect pixie from gender                                                                                                       queer and we are gay to others 

For now I know how I am someone who loves a little too much but must have a deep  connection with them before I wish it. 

 from pink and blue to purple and yellow colors all mixed not in a line 

From boys and girls that my young heart liked 

 till one I fell for truly 

 and I did love you 

 but then you shattered a heart that was already so fragile

 that stitches were already popping from how much 

I tried to help you.

So now I guard my heart in an iron cage 

 made from my own ribs and sternum and now I can't bend my back backwards 

 for someone who doesn't appreciate me  

 because actions do speak louder than words 

 you can lie through your teeth but in the end 

 your actions reveal the true you. 

I am from passionate creatively wild spirited people 

 who can do whatever we put are minds too

 from a grandma who went to med school 

 from a brother who went to collage

 from a sister in law who is a teacher 

From the teachers who noticed more than a kid who misbehaved to someone who was

 shouting from inside a metal box that they had locked aways 

 from a shattered mirror that i'm still collecting and trying to piece together and I haven't

 even collected one quarter done yet

 from butterflies and moths and tallies and bite wounds 

 from half mooned crescent marks to red rubbed raw skin 

 from blisters and tired eyelids 

 from hair that doesn't hurt when pulled 

 from slip chains and dresses that get me cat called 

 from just wanting to be myself 

 from a face that's only touched make up a few times 

 from people who were too sweet that it made me sick 

 so I learned to watch out for those who are too sweet 

Always hid another side 

I am from the masks that I hide behind 

 to the emotions that are placed in bottles 

 and put on the shelf to be looked at 

 then drinking to quench my thirst

 all to quickly with ice that freezes 

 my brain

 my heart 

 That turns my veins to ice unable to feel 

From the little child I locked away forever 

 that sees the day of light only every now and then 

 I am from anxiety and forgotten memories that may never be found again

From blood red tears and sweat from cold shakes and hot flashes  

 from a child that never got to be a child 

 that was replaced by an adult that wasn't an adult 

 that was raised to see the effect that grief and loss can hold 

So I learned to become a rock for her and for them and I paid a price for it 

Now the rock breaks every now and again becoming smaller and smaller and now 

Well now 

I am dust 

but 

I still keep breaking

May I one day learn to love again

-Alastor